This Cruel World
by Scootaboo11
Summary: America decides that the world doesn't need him anymore, which results in suicide. Human AU and contains character death, don't like it don't read it. Also cover image isn't mine, it belongs to わに on pixiv.
1. The End of the Road

**A/N: Warning – There's character death, with Anorexic/Bulimic Human!America being a victim of suicide. Yeah. (Might have more chapters… idk?)**

**Disclaimers: Hetalia © Hidekaz Himaruya; A Poison Tree © William Blake.**

* * *

_A Poison Tree_

_I was angry with my friend:_

_I told my wrath, my wrath did end._

_I was angry with my foe:_

_I told it not, my wrath did grow._

_And I watered it in fears,_

_Night and morning with my tears;_

_And I sunned it with smiles,_

_And with soft deceitful wiles._

_And it grew both day and night,_

_Till it bore an apple bright._

_And my foe beheld it shine._

_And he knew that it was mine,_

_And into my garden stole_

_When the night had veiled the pole;_

_In the morning glad I see_

_My foe outstretched beneath the tree._

* * *

Fat. Stupid. Idiot. Those were the only words that Alfred could remember, constantly ringing in his head. Here the American lay on his bed, looking like a walking skeleton. His golden hair had lost its glow, and his skin pale as milk and wrinkled almost like a grape left in the sun to dry.

This was it. The decision he made was life or death, suffering or freedom.

He had chosen freedom.

The blond checked to see if his door was locked before pulling out a sheet of paper from nowhere, along with a pen. Alfred sighed deeply, before beginning to write.

* * *

_To whom it may concern,_

_If you're reading this note, I'm probably dead. Don't worry; I'm in a better place now. I just needed to get away from this world, because you know what? It doesn't need anyone. Not parents, teachers, boys, girls, geniuses, me, or you. If we all died, the Earth will spin and the sun will still shine. I'll just be one less human in this cruel, heartless, wretched spinning ball of mud that we call a planet. _

He took a deep breath and winced at what he just wrote before continuing.

_You might want to know why I'm doing this, ending it right here right now. It's because I have no choice. I'm tired of the teasing, bullying, harassing, and name calling... everything. I can't do it anymore. For all you that had hurt me, mentally and emotionally, I hope it makes you feel better that I'm doing this. Even though on the outside I would laugh it off, on the inside, I would die a little. I'm actually being the hero for once now._

A tear fell on the paper, smudging some of the fresh ink.

_But for all those that are responsible for this (and you know who you are), not even all the words in the world could describe how repulsed I am at you for making me take my own life. You have no right to cry over me. I __**HATE**_ _YOU. But I also thank you for making me see how fat and ugly I was, and for helping me make an effort to fix it. Mom, Dad, Madeline, Sakura, and Alice, don't think the world's going to end because I'll be gone. Like I said before, everything's still gonna be the same, except I won't be here._

_Love, Alfred._

* * *

Alfred fumbled with the prescription medicine before popping open three bottles. He didn't even know what type of pills they were; he just grabbed them out of the bathroom cabinet at random. He chugged down all the contents of all three containers, using water to help him, and he began to cry. He cried harder than he ever had in his life and it was a miracle no one heard him. For every tear that ran down his face, five new ones came out of his red, swollen eyes. Alfred's emotions were overwhelming, as if everything horrible that had ever happened to him was hitting like a brick.

When the pills kicked in, he began throwing up and knew he was entering the last minutes of life. His stupid, horrible, pathetic excuse of a life. No longer would the world have to deal with him and all his fatness and ugliness. A big chip would be off of everyone's shoulders, no one would probably even notice his death.

Grabbing the knife on the edge of his bed, he slowly carved the words "fat", "stupid", "worthless", and "ugly onto his arms and legs. The American went as slow as possible to inflict the maximum amount of pain.

_This is what you get and what you deserve,_ said a voice in head as crimson blood dripped down and stained his bed cover. _You deserve nothing better and this is all you'll ever be. _

Suddenly, pain shot through the blonde's body like a bullet but he didn't dare scream.

He had no right to.

Alfred lay down on his bed for the last time, sobbing quietly in the sheets spotted in red.

He was ready to die.

To end it right then and there.

His vision was blurring, and he knew he was was slipping into the last moments of his life when the door slammed open.

* * *

**A/N: Wow this was sad… also I've never written death before so I'm testing the waters with this… hopefully it's good! And America sorry for picking on you for this story **

**Reviews are like air to me, I NEED them!**

**And yes there will be a second chapter (✿◠‿◠)**

**Goodbye for now~**


	2. Handwriting on the Wall

**A/N: Heheh I tried to get this out asap so yea **

**This will be sad so be ready for a train wreck of feels**

**And I know I'm supposed to be working on Love Triangle so be patient please!**

**Well enjoy!**

* * *

*About 5 minutes earlier*

Right after finishing her homework, Madeline heard her call her and her brother from the kitchen.

"Al! Maddie! Dinner's ready! It's burgers!"

Madeline waited a second to see her brother rush from down the stairs (where he had been at since he came home from school) because burgers, especially his mothers, are his favorite food.

Silence.

His twin sister had gotten suspicious, because the silence was not normal. Either Al wasn't home (which everyone would know because he is terrible at being sneaky), or he was sleeping, which was not like him at all.

Her mom had the same feeling and said "Honey, where's your brother? He'll usually come in the kitchen at the speed of light whenever I do a dinner call. Can you go to his room and tell him it's time to eat?" Worry was obviously in her voice.

Maddie got up from the table, accepting her mother's request. "Okay mom, I'll get him now," she whispered in her ever-so-quiet voice.

Going up the stairs and to the door of his room the youngest of the twins knocked on the door softly and announced that dinner was ready.

There was no response.

She tried again, putting her ear to the door to hear if her brother was in there when… she heard Alfred crying? _No,_ Madeline thought to herself_, it's just my imagination; I have nothing to worry about._

Knocking harder, she raised her voice a bit.

"Alfred, I know you're in there, and dinner's ready."

Still nothing.

"Alfred, it's your twin sister Madeline, I won't bite, I promise."

It was still quiet, and it seemed as if the crying was getting fainter. Maddie scrunched up her face in displeasure. Why won't her brother answer her?

"Alfred Foster Jones, for the tenth time, come out! Why won't you answer me?"

She was furious now, was he playing a game on her? Honestly she did want to eat but her mother always insisted "they eat together like a civilized family", which was rare since their father was constantly at work, so no Alfred equaled no dinner for the next half hour.

"Alfred, I'm your twin, I'm just as strong as you are! Don't make me open the door with force!"

The girl tried to open the door but it was locked.

What on earth was he doing?

"That's it Al! I'm coming in!"

She kicked open the door in rage, breaking the lock and exposing her brother's room.

"Okay Alfred, sorry about that but-OH MY GOD ALFRED! HOLY CRAP!"

Madeline was shocked to see her brother completely still on the bed, almost as if he was dead (ironically), but the most horrified thing was all the bloodshed in the room, completely splattering the bed.

"OH JESUS CHRIST ALFRED!" She went to his side to feel his pulse.

Nothing.

Then she frantically took of her brother's shirt to feel a heartbeat, and then put her hand to his face to feel breath.

Still nothing.

"MOM, MOM! CALL 911, CALL 911! CALL DAD, MOM!"

* * *

"Maddie dear, what's wrong?"

"OH GOD MOM ALFRED'S NOT BREATHING AND HE HAS NO HEARTBEAT- WAIT HE LEFT A NOTE!"

Maddie was in tears as she picked up the paper and began reading it, baffled at every word. Finally her mother came rushing up the stairs.

"Maddie what's - oh God."

Tears began running down her mother's face in disbelief.

"Honey, did he-"

"Yes mom, read this note."

Mrs. Jones scanned through the writing, eyes wide as saucers.

"Mom, Alfred committed suicide."

* * *

*at the hospital 10-15 min later*

Before, it had seemed as is Alfred had died already, but now at the hospital, he had a heartbeat, it was just too slow, but everyone knew he was gonna die. He was only about 120 pounds, and he had chugged down 3 bottles of prescription medication.

The handwriting was on the wall.

At his side were his mother, father, Madeline, Sakura, and Alice. Alfred was struggling to breathe, with only short, raspy breaths coming out.

Maddie and his mother were bawling their eyes out, his father was trying his best to hold back tears, while Sakura and Alice was only letting a few drops run down their faces. Slowly, Sakura walked over right beside him and looked at him in the eyes. She had something she needed to tell him before he was gone, and it was now or never.

"Alfred," she wept. "Why'd you do this to yourself? I don't understand…"

Using all the strength he had left, Alfred turned his head to her and put his hand on the side if her face.

It felt surprisingly cold to the touch.

"Sakura, I had to," he paused to take a breath. "Or else I would still be... a laughing stock for the rest of my life… I-"

"No!" she cried. "You were just fine the way you were, you were never fat!"

"You're just saying that… because you're my friend… you don't really mean that…"

"Alfred," the Japanese girl said sternly. "Don't believe any of that bullcrap people tell you, ok? And I meant what I said before because…"

She hesitated and noticed how it looked like he was losing his focus.

"I… I love you, but more than just a friend, and I know it's too late to tell you that but-"

Sakura was cut off when the American pressed his lips against hers for a sweet kiss. When he pulled away, she was shocked. "Alfred…"

"I love you too, Sakura and-"

Suddenly, Alfred gasped loudly and his head and hand fell down and the blond fell into a sleep-like state, already weak heartbeat getting slower and slower until…

* * *

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

He had flat lined. Alfred F. Jones was no more.

The fight was over.

Freedom had won.

"NO, MY BABY! DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE!" His mother had rushed to his side, not believing her son had just passed. "ALFRED, SAY SOMETHING! NURSE, NURSE!"

Sakura just stood there in complete shock. He just returned her feeling for him, and even kissed her… and now he was gone. _No,_ she thought to herself, _this is just a dream. I'll pinch myself and close my eyes for three seconds, and when I open them I'll wake up. There's absolutely nothing to worry about… oh Kami-sama, let this just be a nightmare…_

The raven haired teen pinched her arm, and much to her dismay, she felt pain. _Maybe it's just one of those dreams that seem real_, she assured herself.

She clamped her eyes shut and counted.

"Ichi, ni, san…"

Opening her eyes, hopeful of waking up in her bed, Sakura was still at the hospital.

Realizing she had just lost the one she loved and her best friend for as long as she could remember, she completely broke down on the floor. Alice stayed where she was; face soaked with tears and producing even more than she could hold.

"You bloody idiot… why'd you have to die so soon…." She sounded heartless when she said it but she meant it… he was too young, he had an entire life ahead of him, and in an instant he had slipped away.

Madeline slowly made her way to her deceased bother and laid down next to his ice cold skin. When he died, half of her did too. After all, he was her twin brother, but she felt angry.

Not angry because he died, but angry because she didn't do anything to stop this, that she hadn't noticed her brother's downward spiral until it was too late.

It was her fault, she deserved to die and not him.

* * *

That weekend, two funerals were held for Alfred and his sister, Madeline. Only a few people showed up, including their closest family members and friends. It was a rainy day too, which added to the desolate mood and sorrow, but the ones who had it the worst were the twin's parents.

They had lost their both of children in one day.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, the person at the door was Madeline, and I'm an Ameripan shipper and yeah.**

**Also, Madeline hanged herself later that day because she felt so guilty about Al dying. I know this sucks but please forgive me "orz**

**Well review please!**


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